Tuesday, June 29, 2010

No Rock of Love Here... Only Rocks of Loathing, Disdain and Pure Unadulterated Hatred

That's right y'all.  Hatred.  The kind of hatred I had only reserved for things like coconut.  Not the flavor of coconut, the consistency.  It's a little too fingernail-like for me.  But I digress.  The rocks.  The rocks that make me lose my witness.  As you know, C and I bought our first home earlier this year.  The one thing I didn't absolutely love was the landscaping in the front yard.  Because there were rocks.  Have I said rocks yet?  Have I mentioned rocks? 

There were two beds that had about 59 bazillion pebbles of pea gravel.  That's right.  If pea gravel were money, I could have paid the United States deficit.  So this past weekend, C and I decide we've had enough and we are going to shovel the pea gravel and take it back to the pits of hell from which it came.  (Dramatic?)  Saturday morning we clean out one bed that was gravel free.  It contained two extremely dead azaleas and some weeds. 

Let me say before I launch into the fit of the century about the rocks that we were under a severe weather warning due to intense heat.  But as everyone knows, it will be February before Mississippi isn't the temperature of Satan's right hand.  So, we begin to rake the pea gravel and shovel it into the truck.  We manage to get the smaller bed completely cleaned out on Saturday.

We also cleaned out the old mulch from around those little bushes.  The space in the middle was a giant bush we cut down and dug up earlier in the day.  We plan to sod the area where the rocks were.  Sunday morning my friend Kerri was kind (demented?) enough to come help the poor little couple.  One who is me and one who has back issues.  We shovel rocks and shovel rocks and then shovel some more, all while consuming massive amounts of gatorade so as not to DIE.  We load C's truck completely down and still have 3/4 of the big bed to go.

Just a little in the truck above.  His Titan looks like it's ridin' dirty now.  Like it has a drop kit.  Very sad little Titan.  We of course have nowhere to take said rocks on a Sunday so we call around on Monday and guess what...... the dump here where I live is only open Monday-Friday from 8-2:30.  Those are the MOST convenient hours for me. Hang on so I can clean up all that sarcasm I just dripped all over.

We have since come to the conclusion that we need a dumpster.  It should be delivered on Thursday so that we can celebrate the Freedom of our country by shoveling the rocks we have been enslaved to.  In the meantime, C and I feel as though we have been hit by massive Mac trucks so MawMaw here is going to take a bath in Icy Hot.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Down the Hatch

Today was rather uneventful.  I sat with Kerri for the better part of the day learning how to be her backup.  It was very educational and just a little conversational too :)  We went to the gym at 4 to "workout" and then came back downstairs to our desk to finish up for the day. 

We were just about to head back up to the gym (please don't think that we are all about fitness, it's kind of a job requirement for us) when Kerri decided to pop a prescription Naproxin for some pain she has.  Not thinking a thing about it she downs two with her Diet Coke.  Seconds later people and I mean almost immediately, she FREAKS out.

"OH NO!!!!  I'm only supposed to take one of these every 12 hours.  Regular Tylenol makes me tired.  I have to go to swim class tonight.  YOU DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO DIE DO YOU?!?!!?!?!?!"

By this time I am crying I am laughing so hard at her.  No.  If an attack by a vicious kitten doesn't do you in I doubt a strong Aleve will kill you. 

This provided us with quite the laugh.  Needless to say I am on standby in case I have to rescue her and her daughter from the Y tonight because she has passed out.  Does it make me a bade person that right now I am picturing her laid out on a lawn chair while her 5 year old is learning the doggie paddle.  Here's hoping she's not drooling!!!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

So, who's tired of my Disney references in the title?  No one? Good.  Me either! C and I have been day dreaming lately about taking a trip to Ireland and Scotland in 2011.  We are super excited and will be contacting a travel agent soon.  Our plan is to visit Dublin for 5 days then go to Edinburgh Scotland for 5 days.  Who is just emerald green with jealousy?  Maybe don't be jealous until trip is booked eh?  Life has a funny way of getting hectic right when we plan things.

So a list of things we want to see/do in Dublin:

1.  Visit the Guiness Brewery.  I mean come on.  I know that stuff is gross but how can you fly all the way to Ireland and not get a pint of Guiness?

2.  Kilmainham Gaol is the most famous prison in Ireland.  The leader of the 1916 Rebellion was killed here.  Who doesn't want to visit a prison on vacation?

3.  Trinity College and Library was founded by Queen Elizabeth I.  Enough said my friends.

There is a festival in Scotland we want to go to called The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo.  No, not ink for your body.  A festival of all things Highlands with a Bagpipe and Drum show.  Did you know that Scottish people spell drums drams?  See, this is educational for all readers :) We also want to tour the Highlands while we are there and replay the scene in Braveheart.  You know,  we plan to be the average annoying American Tourists!  C does this well.  I have about 900 pics from the aquarium at Atlantis to prove this.

If you ever want to see every fish in Atlantis, just let me know ;)

The thing we are questioning is whether or not we will try Haggis.  If you are unfamiliar it is basically a stew of sheep parts cooked in the stomack of the sheep.  Mmmmm, tasty.  I am all for trying new things but I might have to draw the line on this one. 

I will leave you with one question... Where would your dream vacation be?  Also a little video from a past Military Tattoo.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

It's A Big Recap Charlie Brown!!!

Hello all.  Sorry it's been so long since my last post.  We have been busy little bees since we last spoke.  Two weekends ago C's mom and sister came for a visit to see the new house.  That Friday night we went to dinner then Saturday we ate breakfast and went shopping.  C's mom and I got some new Bare Minerals make up at ULTA and I have to say, I LOVE IT.  It is very smooth and natural looking and only takes a few minutes in the morning.  We also went to Belk and C's sis scored a new swimsuit.  That night, C grilled the best steak!  I don't know if we will ever go out for steak again!  Sunday morning we woke up and ate breakfast and then it was time for them to leave.  They had a long drive ahead.  We really had a great visit!

This past Thursday we went to the Back Doctor for C to get an epidural injection of cortisone on his sciatic nerve.  The appointment was set for 1:15 and C couldn't eat beforehand.  So like a good wife, I didn't eat either.  I am much like an infant when I can't eat and I was praying for the procedure to move quickly.  There were some chips and salsa just waiting with my name on them.  We left the Back Doctor at 4:45.  That's right.  So much for quickness.  I was kind of worried that C would be out of it when all was said and done but he was a trooper.  He was completely lucid which is great because he might have had to sleep in the car.  I don't know that I could have helped him all by myself.  I'm not kidding when I call him Big C.  He towers about a foot over me.  We went and ate Mexican then watched movies and napped the rest of the day. 

Friday I volunteered at an organization for adults with Down Syndrome.  What a blast we had!!  We ate hamburgers and hotdogs, did the limbo, played Bingo and had a Wii bowling tournament.  They are so great and truly a treasure to be around.  It was so much fun to hang out with them and I plan to do it again soon.

This past weekend C and I headed to Birmingham for a cookout at his boss' house.  Friday night we met his little brother's girlfriend for the first time and stayed up way to late talking to them.  We are definitely not as young as we used to be.  Functioning on little to no sleep is way harder than it used to be.  Saturday morning we were supposed to take breakfast to my friend Alicia who recently had a new baby.  C woke up not feeling well with a slight fever and being the neurotic I am I refused to take sickness to a newborn so we will have to visit them when we are all well!

We visited with C's dad a little for Father's Day then headed back Sunday afternoon.  What an exhausting week!!  I will definitely do better with the blogging guys.  My hiatus is over.  Sad that I already took a hiatus after a week of blogging huh?  Doesn't say a lot for my work ethic :)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sing us a song Uncle Ted!!

I have a very awesome friend here in Mississippi.  Her name is Kerri and I met her at work.  She is one of the strongest women I know.  She has been through so much this year and I just stand in awe of her and how she deals so graciously with everything.  I am very fortunate to have made such a great friend so far from home. 

Sorry for my grainy picture.  I was at work and took it with my Iphone.  She appears much more clearly in real life :)

Now, one of the things she has suffered recently is quite traumatic.  You might want to ask your children to leave the room.  The following is very graphic and includes pictures of a vicious attach by an 11 week old kitten.....

Last night I received a text from Kerri saying that she had been attacked by Harley (11 weeks old) and had been left alone to die.

Harley has been sneezing and the vet recommended a dose of Benadryl until Kerri could get him in the next day.  Kerri, her husband Mark, and their neighbor prepare for battle.  Kerri is holding Harley like a football while the TWO GROWN MEN attempt to give poor Harley the nasty dish soap tasting children's Benadryl. 

There was blood shed people.  Imagine the horror.  She suffered numerous wounds.  All of a sudden she knew exactly how Roy of Siegfried and Roy felt when their 380 pound tiger Montecore felt.  She was in such a daze of pain she could do nothing but text me and relay the horrific tale.  One handed I'm sure. 

Imagine my surprise when I get to work this morning and she is there with all limbs still intact and her face on straight.  I did photograph the wounds because I am all about reporting the truth and only the truth.

The horror.  This is the most brutal of the injuries and apparently the bleeder. 

If you can't make it out due to poor quality of photography, there a litterally tons of scratches on the upper part of her arm.

The brutality was unprecedented. 

Kerri was most frightened that she would develop Cat Scratch Fever and Bell's Palsy and asked that I be kind to her during this tragic illness to which she was doomed.

Like a good friend I quickly assured her that that was not going to happen.  She laughed hysterically days ago when my head bounced off the corner of my car door.  Payback little lady.

All joking aside, Kerri is truly a great friend and I don't know how I would make it here without her.  I hope you're thoughts are with her during her recovery. ;)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Happy Wednesday!!

First off I want to wish a BIG welcome to Reagan Lynn.  She is the brand new baby girl of one of my besties Alicia and her husband Zac.  They have prayed for this girl for a long time.  I know she will be one of the trendiest dressed babies on the block :)

I also would like to wish a Happy Birthday to C's stepmom KK!  We love and appreciate her very much and I hope that she is having the best day!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Pirates vs Ninjas (Spoiler Alert)

That's right folks.  The age old debate among the nerds over which group is more cunning, death defying and cool.  Why am I bringing this up you ask?  Because another debate happened right before my eyes tonight.  Journey vs Queen. 

Ah yes.  Now you're with me.  This has been a long pondered subject in my mind since I was introduced to the bands years ago.  Which do I like more?  Which has more powerful songs?  Who do I choose? 

Really both.  I love them equally because they are so unique in their own rights.  Much like the performances on Glee tonight.  Come on.  You all saw that one coming right?  What has Glee done?  They have thrust two of the best bands in our faces making us choose.  Well tonight guys, I choose Journey. 

Mainly because of the love I have deep inside for New Directions and a deep seeded hate for that Jesse kid in Vocal Adrenaline.  Come on?  What was it, The Jesse Show?  I think not!  Not with the brilliance of all the misfits backed by their brillo haired coach.  Marvelous!!

The show tonight was FANTASTIC! I mean Josh Groban (Kill Yourself), Sandy, the news anchor Sue dated and Sue!  What group could be more entertaining?  I also loved the labor scene entwined with the performance of Bohemian Rhapsody.  If you have known me longer than like five minutes you know I love that song.  And yes.  I did the head bang.  It's in my blood :)

One thing I found slightly amusing was Quinn's rapid return to school mere minutes after delivering her baby.  I totally saw it coming that the coach from Vocal Adrenaline would adopt said baby.  I'm ok with it though because Idina Menzel and I have lots in common.  Our voices are so similar you wouldn't be able to tell who was singing which note :)

I must also point out that it was a nice change for crying because of the kids, Mr. Schu, and Sue rather than Jimmy.  Everytime he makes an appearance I'm crying like a baby.  Go back to Christine Jimmy!! You're supposed to be funny.  *TEAR*

So I leave all seven of you with a question...

What's your favorite Journey/Queen song?  Mine?  Bohemian Rhapsody and Faithfully.  I tried really hard for C and I to dance to that at our wedding.  Metallica was great though :)

Monday, June 7, 2010

So This Is Love...

Cinderella and I had nothing in common on our wedding days except we both wore a white dress.

The Friday night before our wedding was our rehearsal. I hadn’t been feeling great, but I chalked it up to the fact that I was getting married the next day. I began to cough a little at the rehearsal dinner but again thought I was just tired.

Saturday morning I awoke at my Mom’s house and knew right away that I had something a little more than a mild case of exhaustion. I looked like absolute crap. My mom and I head to the doc in the box to see what is wrong with me on the most important day of my life thus far.

Turns out I had the FLU!! Isn’t that what you dreamed about as a little girl playing wedding with your grandmother’s curtains? Me either. First let me say that the flu test is the most horrible thing in the world. They basically shove a Q-tip up your nose. It might as well have been a smoldering hot branding iron. I swear they touched brain.

I end up getting two shots. One a steroid shot and the other a shot of Ibuprofen. Steroid shot + fat girl + heavy wedding gown make for an interesting day y’all. I think I broke a sweat immediately after injection. On top of that I got woozy and had to drink that delicious stuff they give people for a diabetes test to bring my blood sugar up to a functioning level.

The nice Asian doctor gives me a prescription for Tama flu. Great! This stuff will knock the flu right out. Only you can’t take it and drink alcohol or be in the sun. Needless to say the meds didn’t make the flight to the Grand Bahamian Sandals resort with us. Who wants to go to an all inclusive tropical resort and not drink or be in the sun? Not this girl!

My mom and I then rush off to check into the hotel where the wedding festivities are to take place and I go get my hair did with my girls.

Kind of obvious in that last one that I wasn’t 100% huh?

The rest of the day went surprisingly smooth considering I had to be in a room set to 60 degrees so as not to melt :)

We got to our room that night extremely late and departed for the honeymoon at 6 am. That is six in the morning people. I don’t get up that early to go to work!

Here I am about to eat lunch the first day in the Bahamas. Aren’t I just the picture of health? I also had a cough that resembled a barking dog. Lots of people wanted to hang with us :) What with the swine flu and all.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

If you give a mouse a coke can covered in peanut butter…

He won’t like it…
Several weeks ago, Big C and I were watching American Idol when I saw something scurry across the living room floor.  “Oh my gosh C, I just saw a mouse or a frog or something!?!?” 
“Whatever Ellie, you are just seeing things because you’re crazy”
Yup that’s me.  Sometimes I like to make up critters in my home for a little excitement.  Insert your sarcastic reading voice here.
I go on to say lots of mature things like “Nuh uh.  I’m not crazy.  I saw it butthead.”  You get the drift.
Well, the show ends and C goes to the bedroom to watch something else whilst I watch Glee.  Scurrying animal returns and now I am sure we have ourselves a mouse.  I delicately yell for C to “GET IN HERE AND PROTECT ME FROM THIS TINY TINY FIELD MOUSE”.
C comes in armed with his work gloves and a broom.  Not sure what’s about to happen but I’m sure he means business.
No mouse returns so he takes off his accoutrement and proceeds to enjoy the Glee with me.  Stuart Little almost runs across C’s foot at this point and he finally agrees that we have an unwelcome guest.  I begin to say more mature things like “I told you I wasn’t crazy.  I don’t know why you doubt me.”  I should win a maturity award. 
So little mouse is under our chair at this point.  C turns the chair upside down and it runs under THE VERY COUCH UPON WHICH I PERCH PEOPLE!!!!!  C is all “Get off the couch and help me Ellie”. And I’m all “ARE YOU CRAZY?  NO WAYS!!”
I arm myself with the broom and C turns the couch upside down and tells me to hit it or at least watch which way it goes.  The mouse runs towards me and I jump on our end table.  “Which way did it go Ellie?”
“I think it ran into your office” I reply.  “What do you mean you think?  I told you to watch it” C says.  “I can’t see through walls C!!” I say calmly. Yeah calm, right.
C goes into the office and turns that room upside down to no avail.  Stuart has retreated.  Let me just say that sleep tonight is not going to come easy because as we all know, mice love to crawl all over your face and stuff while you’re sleeping :)
C being the good husband to a crazy neurotic wife, youtubes a video of homemade mouse traps.  He constructs a glorious contraption consisting of a bucket with water, wire coat hanger, paint stirrers, and a coke can covered in peanut butter.  We set the trap where the mouse first appeared and head off for an uneasy night of sleep.
The next morning, C checks the trap and alas, no mouse.  We are getting ready for work when I notice from the corner of my eye, C hitting things in his closet.
“What are you doing?”  “It’s in here”, C replies.  “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S IN HERE?!?!?!”
Yup.  Mouse in the closet less than three feet away from me.  C hits around some more and Stuart scurries into the water closet. 
I won’t go into detail on what happened next.  Let’s just say C is down a shirt and the mouse went to be with the nice people at Allied Waste that day.
We always knew that we would learn a lot about each other in the first year of marriage.  Lessons learned in this situation:  C learned that I don’t want to do things that might result in tiny little mice touching me and I learned that C is a good mouser.
For the icing on the cake of this post, pics of the homemade mouse trap:

Hello Internets!!!

Hello all five of you who will read this :)  I have decided to join the blogging world since all of my family and most of my friends live at least 3 hours away.  I have been married to Big C for almost a year and we have had a blast so far.  We live in Mississippi (hence the title of this blog) but our hometown will always be Birmingham Alabama.  It's where our peeps are.  We moved here almost two years ago because of his job.  Well, he moved and I followed :)  I knew better than to let my catch get away!  We are brand new homeowners and I assure you as the improvements continue, there will be lots of hilarious material for me to share with all of you.  Welp.  That's all the introduction I can give you.  Anthing else you want to know, just ask.