Sunday, July 11, 2010

The Great Wall of Entrekin

What a busy weekend here in Mississippi.  Saturday, C and I painted the kitchen.  MOST TERRIBLE ROOM THUS FAR!!  There are lots of tiny pieces of wall that are about a 1/4 inch thick.  I had to use a special tiny brush to paint.  Also we have vaulted ceilings in the kitchen which was a lot of fun for C stretching on the very top of the ladder.  It is now a very beautiful shade called Latte.

We then hung plantation blinds in the spare bedroom and office.  I channeled C's mouse extermination technique and had to punch one of the blinds in place.  I now have a busted knuckle on my right hand reminiscent of a bar fight I've never been in.  Punching hurts.  Tell your kids.

This morning C and I got up and headed to Lowe's.  It's become our new Wal-Mart since becoming homeowners.  We loaded up 42 flagstone retainer wall stones and headed home to build some flower beds.  I began to lay the landscaping felt in the beds while C helped.  Oh My Goodness.  I really despise this stuff.  I ended up having to buy knee pads because the ground hurt so bad.  Picture this if you will.  I have on gray cutoff yoga pants, a pink tank top and neon green knee pads.  It's a wonder we didn't get kicked out of the neighborhood. 

C wanted to go two high with the stones but I thought one would be enough.  I'm putting this in writing so C will have it forever.... C was right.  Two high was much better.  So we headed back to Lowe's because as everyone knows, one trip never does it.  We bought 72 more stones.  Not an exaggeration people....72. 

We finished the fabric and stone work pretty quickly and the front yard is beginning to take shape.  Of course we have to go  back to Lowe's tomorrow to buy some more stones but by the end of the week it should be completed. 

On a funny note of the weeked, C almost broke his wrist today.  I laughed for almost 45 minutes.  He had just filled up the gas tank and reached through the steering wheel to reset the mileage and had to turn the wheel sharply to avoid hitting a curve and it wrenched his wrist.  I told him I wouldn't take him to the ER for that because the reason was just too ridiculous to tell a doctor.  I'm terrible I know.

I will have pics of a finished deck this week barring weather for you as well.  The contractor is supposed to begin tomorrow.  I don't know if C will be able to sleep tonight.

Here's a pic of the front of our house and the progress thus far.

Here's hoping I can convince C we should paint the blue siding next weekend :)  You can also see the desert in the yard where we shoveled up all of the devil pea gravel.  Soon it will be as green and pretty as the rest of the yard.

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Snort Heard Round the World.... Or at least my office

This morning Kerri and I got on the elevator to head to our floor to work.  You know that awkward dance of button pushing when someone is trying to get on the elevator and you're trying to push the open button but you're really pushing the closed button?  It happened before my very eyes.

This lady was trying to get on and as soon as she crossed the threshold, the doors slammed shut on her.  It was a torturous ride to my floor.  The whole five seconds I was doing the cough thing to try and cover up my laughter.  I felt really bad for the lady and tried to hold it together but it was hard people.  Like trying not to giggle in church.

As soon as we got off and the door closed safely behind us, I was dying.  I mean falling apart at the seams.  If any of you have ever seen me really tickled you know I snort a little.  The sound of the snort that came out of me this morning was like the tornado siren had just gone off.  People were craning around the cubicles to see who was causing such a commotion.

That would be me. 

I had tears streaming down my face y'all.  I was all but bent over laughing at this poor woman getting rammed by the elevator doors.  I am chuckling as I write this because it was so funny. 

Please don't think I'm awful. I probably would be laughing even harder if it was me.  She wasn't hurt, only a little embarassed.  It was an interesting start to the day.

Hope everyone had a great Friday!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

While shoveling ice with your little shovel, I saw that you had some biscuits..

Most hilarious comment of the Fourth.  This Fourth of July holiday began with the delivery of the dumpster.  The dumpster for which we were to fill with loads of horrific pea gravel.  Saturday morning we got up around seven and began shoveling around eight.  We had all the gravel up by 10:30.  Woot Woot.   We then tore down a dog house that was behind our house.

Let me just say that this dog house was better constructed that our house.  We took out 47 screws and took off four walls and the thing was still standing.  What the crap?!?!  So C knocked it over and it finally crumbled.  We loaded the pieces into the dumpster.  Now let me mention about this dumpster that it was so big that the entire neighborhood could have cleaned out their garages and we would still have room.  It was literally five feet tall and about 20 feet long.  That's a big dumpster to have in your driveway for several days. 

After we cleaned the dog house fragments up, we straightened the house and went to buy fireworks.  Kerri and I had tried to buy them the day before but just ended up meandering around the store like girls because we knew nothing.  Where was Joe Dirt when you needed him?

The fiireworks of my youth consisted of the snake thing that just wiggled across a patio that ended up looking suspiciously like a coal bodily function and the little army man that parachuted.  Also a bottle rocket or two.  In no way am I a firework expert.  Luckily, C knows about things that go boom.  So we loaded up some stuff and came home. 

Saturday night Kerri and her husband came over to watch the fight.  Alls I'm going to say is it didn't end the way I wanted it to.  If you know about UFC and who fought Saturday night then you know how I feel about the world. 

Sunday we got up early and cleaned out the flower beds, trimmed my crepe mertyls and tried to cut down some pompous grass.  Pompous grass has officially entered the same level of hell as coconut and pea gravel.  It sliced my ankle like only a razor could.  Needless to say, we have since purchased a chainsaw and the pompous grass will no longer live in my front yard come the weekend. 

Sunday night we feasted on crack dip, BLT dip, hamburgers and hotdogs, baked beans and potato salad.  Could we be more American?  The fireworks began with the pop things you throw on the ground and it sounds like a gun went off.  Another favorite from my childhood.  I must say the people in R&D at the pops plant have outdone themselves.  I threw a new and improved one and lost hearing in my right ear for the rest of the night.  I mean, those are for children.  Should they really sound like a scud missle landed on my patio?

Another funny comment from Kerri's daughter A happened when the neighbors began to shoot fireworks.  She stomped her little foot and exclaimed, "I thought we were doing it!"  She didn't seem to understand that we weren't the only people who celebrated the Fourth with fireworks.  Kids crack me up!

Monday C and I decided to relax by painting our livingroom.  It is now a lovely khaki green called Zeus instead of a flesh colored lame beige.  YAY for painting!  Three rooms down, five and a hallway to go.  I'll post before and after pics as soon as I get them uploaded. 

On a different note, my phone is broken and I plugged it in while talking on it and got shocked because the screen is broken.  What a life.  I guess that wouldn't happen if I didn't insist on dropping expensive things.  So far I've broken two Iphones and scratched C's Oakleys.  He's a lucky man to have such a graceful wife :)

Liquid Tans and Mustaches.....

Or a Freddie Mercury guide to fashion. 

Last week Kerri and I decided to try the new spray tan Versa.  We drive all the way to another town because the Palm Beach Tan closest to us didn't have the new stuff.  Turns out when we get there that they had just gotten Versa like that week.  Good to know after we drove about 20 miles. 

So we get the Versa.  The upside to this is that it's not supposed to have orange undertones so it shouldn't turn you orange.  I was very excited about this because a few weeks ago, I did the regular Mystic Tan and resembled an Oompa Loompa.

Kerri and I are both sprayed then hit the road to head back home.  My nose is an unnatural color about five minutes down the road.  I'm splotchy and spotty, it's not pretty. 

So I begin to freak.  "Oh My Goodness!!!  Do you think I'm allergic?!?!?!?!"  Kerri is laughing hysterically at me. 

"Stop making me laugh.  I'm going to cry my tan off" Kerri shreaks through the hysterics.

Thanks for being a friend Kerri.  I can always count on you to laugh at my pain :)

The tans ended up looking ok after a day or so and I guess we'll have to go back since we've already paid for them and all.

The mustache portion of this post is pretty obvious.  I feel I'm growing one and I don't want it.  Now, no one has said that I have one, this is solely a personal decision.  If you think I have one and haven't said anything please keep on with that train of thought. 

So I am going to get the wax at some point this week.  I'll keep you posted on that.  I'm sure it will be terribly painful and incredibly awful but at least my resemblance to Tom Selleck will be over.