Thursday, July 8, 2010

While shoveling ice with your little shovel, I saw that you had some biscuits..

Most hilarious comment of the Fourth.  This Fourth of July holiday began with the delivery of the dumpster.  The dumpster for which we were to fill with loads of horrific pea gravel.  Saturday morning we got up around seven and began shoveling around eight.  We had all the gravel up by 10:30.  Woot Woot.   We then tore down a dog house that was behind our house.

Let me just say that this dog house was better constructed that our house.  We took out 47 screws and took off four walls and the thing was still standing.  What the crap?!?!  So C knocked it over and it finally crumbled.  We loaded the pieces into the dumpster.  Now let me mention about this dumpster that it was so big that the entire neighborhood could have cleaned out their garages and we would still have room.  It was literally five feet tall and about 20 feet long.  That's a big dumpster to have in your driveway for several days. 

After we cleaned the dog house fragments up, we straightened the house and went to buy fireworks.  Kerri and I had tried to buy them the day before but just ended up meandering around the store like girls because we knew nothing.  Where was Joe Dirt when you needed him?

The fiireworks of my youth consisted of the snake thing that just wiggled across a patio that ended up looking suspiciously like a coal bodily function and the little army man that parachuted.  Also a bottle rocket or two.  In no way am I a firework expert.  Luckily, C knows about things that go boom.  So we loaded up some stuff and came home. 

Saturday night Kerri and her husband came over to watch the fight.  Alls I'm going to say is it didn't end the way I wanted it to.  If you know about UFC and who fought Saturday night then you know how I feel about the world. 

Sunday we got up early and cleaned out the flower beds, trimmed my crepe mertyls and tried to cut down some pompous grass.  Pompous grass has officially entered the same level of hell as coconut and pea gravel.  It sliced my ankle like only a razor could.  Needless to say, we have since purchased a chainsaw and the pompous grass will no longer live in my front yard come the weekend. 

Sunday night we feasted on crack dip, BLT dip, hamburgers and hotdogs, baked beans and potato salad.  Could we be more American?  The fireworks began with the pop things you throw on the ground and it sounds like a gun went off.  Another favorite from my childhood.  I must say the people in R&D at the pops plant have outdone themselves.  I threw a new and improved one and lost hearing in my right ear for the rest of the night.  I mean, those are for children.  Should they really sound like a scud missle landed on my patio?

Another funny comment from Kerri's daughter A happened when the neighbors began to shoot fireworks.  She stomped her little foot and exclaimed, "I thought we were doing it!"  She didn't seem to understand that we weren't the only people who celebrated the Fourth with fireworks.  Kids crack me up!

Monday C and I decided to relax by painting our livingroom.  It is now a lovely khaki green called Zeus instead of a flesh colored lame beige.  YAY for painting!  Three rooms down, five and a hallway to go.  I'll post before and after pics as soon as I get them uploaded. 

On a different note, my phone is broken and I plugged it in while talking on it and got shocked because the screen is broken.  What a life.  I guess that wouldn't happen if I didn't insist on dropping expensive things.  So far I've broken two Iphones and scratched C's Oakleys.  He's a lucky man to have such a graceful wife :)


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